COURAGE IGNITED BY ANGER AND FUELED BY HOPE

Saint Augustine (theologian and philosopher) lived during violent and corrupt times (354-430 AD) and he knew that the only way through such times was for people to have HOPE so they could see the bright even on the dark, dismal days.  He has been attributed as saying, “Hope has two daughters.  Their names are Anger and Courage.  Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.”  I love this quote because the sentiment is still appropriate during current times.

These days, I see many of my friends struggling with their anger over their perception of how things are going in their small corner of the world while others are hopeful and exhibiting courage in their attempts to bring about some sort of change.  This week, let’s take a closer look at anger, courage, and hope.

Hope’s daughter Anger shows herself when she is annoyed or displeased and is often reactionary when she feels things are unjust, inequitable, corrupt, or oppressive.  Often we see the dark side of daughter Anger.  It is evident when people complain about the unjust, inequitable, corrupt, or oppressive things but do not seek or work on solutions for the source of the complaint.  She is around when we denigrate others in an effort to promote ourselves or just to ruin a reputation.  She is around when we turn to violence to express our feelings.

On the other hand, it is Anger’s sister, Courage who takes action to deal with Anger’s issues.  Courage seeks solutions.  She has the strength to persevere in the wake of adversity with confidence and resolution.  When the two join forces they form a powerful team.  Anger identifies the issues that bother us and when she joins forces with her action-oriented sister Courage, things happen to work on changing the issues.  Anger without the action of courage diminishes hope.  Anger without the action of courage diminishes our energy and warps our perspective.  Anger without the action of courage is a weapon.  

Let me be clear.  It is okay to be angry. It is fine to vent about that which we are angry.  But it is important to use that anger to help bring about positive and productive action.  We need to always pair our anger at something with courage – courage to set up and do something about the source of our anger.

It is courage that helps us to:

• Transform our anger into a tool, something to use to help work on the issues bothering us and help us move forward in a constructive way.
• Move beyond reaction to response.
• Step out of our comfort zones.
• Deal with all the unknowns we may face.
• Handle the unexpected.
• Come to grips with what we do, how we think, and who we are with the issue we are facing.
• Embrace transformations of self and situation.

We all have a reserve of courage within us and some things we can do to unlock our reserve of courage include:

• Believing in ourselves.
• Acknowledging any fears, confronting them, and moving beyond them.
• Letting go of the familiar.
• Moving past worry.
• Persevering.
• Following “Mother Hope’s” example.

Mother Hope is wise beyond belief for she carries the expectation and desire for certain things to happen.   She is powerful because she is accompanied by positive emotions such as joy, happiness, confidence, courage, enthusiasm, and optimism.  Dr. Judith Rich, a pioneering teacher in the field of transformation and consciousness, tells us that, “Hope is a match in a dark tunnel, a moment of light, just enough to reveal the path ahead and ultimately the way out.”  Hope is indeed a very powerful ally for with it we will be able to deal with anything especially the issues that cause anger to bubble over.  No matter what we face along our life journey, hope lets us know that no matter what there will be something better and brighter around the corner.

On our life journey there are always going to issues that make us angry.  If we can remember to use that anger to fuel our courage and use our courage to work toward constructive and positive solutions to the issues, we will be able to cope with and move beyond the issues.  And, not only cope with and move beyond, but we will do so in a more positive, focused, calm, confident, and hopeful way.  As Adele Bashear (Co-Founder of Intrinsic Enterprises) tells us, “Never underestimate the power of hope.  Hope fuels us with the energy and courage to go forward.”

FALL IS A TIME OF CHANGE

Fall is my favorite time of year.  In my little corner of the world (Bedford County, south central Pennsylvania, USA), trees’ leaves change from green to vibrant colors of red, orange, and yellow.   The air changes from hot and humid to cool and crisp.  Bales of hay, dried cornstalks, and pumpkins dot the countryside.  Yes, fall is a time of change.  I recently traveled to the north central part of the state where the leaves were almost to their peak in color.  The reds, oranges, and yellows were quite brilliant. 

Thinking about all the changes in nature we see at this time of year got me to thinking about change in general and I thought of the following that someone shared with me a while ago:

Concentrate on a new outcome.

Have a vision of what is to be achieved.

Always be open to possibilities.

Never let fear drive the direction.

Give the new outcome a chance to work.

Embrace the change as it unfolds.

To honor this season of change, let’s explore each of these thoughts.

Concentrate on a new outcome.  An outcome is what exists at the end of whatever is changing.  Think about, consider, different possible outcomes to what is changing.  Understand that the actual outcome may not be what we originally hoped for or expected, so we need to keep an open mind about our situation.  The ancient Greek philosopher and scientist, Aristotle, believed everything happens for a reason and that whatever we are dealing with has come into our life to:  move us in a direction in which we need to go, better define us, provide us insights into ourselves and our situation, help us become our best self. 

Have a vision of what is to be achieved.  Vision is the image of what we want the future to look like; it is our goal.  The vision provides purpose, meaning, and sets the direction and in doing so, gives hope, enthusiasm, importance, and inspiration to what we want to accomplish or what we want to be.

Always be open to possibilities.  Possibilities – the prospect of amazing things happening. Possibilities are powerful.  Possibilities can lift us past our limits.  Possibilities create excitement.  Possibilities have a way of making something great happen.  We need to do all we can to make sure that we are ready to take advantage of the possibilities that present themselves along the path of our life journey.  It is important not to dismiss what may be challenging us, but rather, stay attuned to what is going on, look for the lessons in what is happening, and learn and grow.  In that way, we will be able to make those possibilities work for us.

Never let fear drive the direction.  Fear is when we are afraid of something.  We often fear what we don’t know is about to come (and with change, there are times when the outcome will be unknown).  To keep fear in its place we need to: consider possible outcomes of the change,  create a list of our fears related to each of those, and create a resolution list for each fear and its worst possible outcome.  We will find that the scariness of the situation really isn’t so foreboding. 

Give the new outcome a chance to work.  We need to be patient with whatever the result of the change is.  Being patient means being able to wait calmly for something.  American author David G. Allen says, “Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in your mind.”   Without patience, we will constantly be annoyed, frustrated, angry, or upset.  Without patience, we may give up too soon or quit something altogether.  Without patience it is easy to get stuck and not move forward.  

Embrace the change as it unfolds.  To embrace change means we are accepting of it.  Nothing is permanent; change happens all the time.   Before change happens, remember that some things go and are replaced by new things.  This is a fact of life.  And, with some change, it is necessary for the old, the former to go so that the new can come.   Only then will we be able to continue down the road of life making the vision of what we want work.   There is no doubt that the journey to acceptance is probably the hardest journey we will ever take in our life.  Having to let go of what was, having to adjust, having to understand or try to make sense of what happened, having to come to grips with ‘this is the life that I’ve now been given’ all make this journey a hard one.  A positive mindset, an attitude of excitement and anticipation, and seeing what has changed as an opportunity will make the journey manageable, worthwhile and enjoyable.  We just need to keep focused on the new beginning and all that that might hold.

One of the things we all have in common is, no matter what stage of life we’re at, change is always constant.  No matter our age, we all have to cope with things like death, sickness, coming and going of people, changing seasons, and other unavoidable evolutions. Adapting to any change is a very personal process that takes time and that amount of time will differ for each of us.  If we take it day by day (and even hour by hour within each day if need be), don’t rush things, give ourselves and others the time and the space, and follow some of the ideas outlined in this week’s article, our adaptation to the whatever has changed will be a little easier for us.

MAKING THE POWER OF POSITIVITY WORK FOR US

Author and speaker Jon Gordon in his Positive Tip for October 10, 2022 said, “Positivity leads to winning.” Yes indeed!  Positivity also leads to:

• An active, curious mind.
• Better stress management and coping skills.
• Ability to overcome obstacles easier.
• Enhanced resilience.
• Increased productivity.
• Better heart health.
• A faster healing process.
• Better social life and more meaningful relationships.

Gordon also said, “People think being positive means being less ambitious, less gritty, less competitive but the truth is you can be positive and competitive. You can be positive and fierce. You can have a humble heart, a positive attitude and a warrior spirit.  Too many equate positivity with weakness but it is a source of courage and strength. People think you have to choose between positivity and winning but I’ve found with all the leaders I’ve worked with; positivity leads to winning.”

I couldn’t agree more.  There is power in a positive attitude; power in positivity.  When we accentuate the positive we think positively and when we think positively we allow entrance into our mind only thoughts, words, and images that are conducive to growth.  We expect good and favorable results.  We anticipate happiness and joy.  Whether we are positive or negative often depends not on the circumstance, but rather on our disposition.

Yes, I know.  It is hard to remain upbeat and positive when facing challenging or sad circumstances.  However, those circumstances can help us become, as Gordon says, “more focused, more driven, and more determined.”   This week, let’s explore some things we can do to help us deal with any anger, frustration, or disappointment that might result from a challenging situation.  We can:

KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE GOOD/POSITIVE HAPPENING than what we see or hear.  Much of what brings smiles to our faces never makes any type of news. Random acts of kindness are being done all the time.  Look for those bright moments. Bring a bright moment to someone.  When we do, we will feel good and our positivity will climb.

REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.  If we were to reframe a picture, we’d replace the current frame with a different one – perhaps one that highlights the picture in a way that may give it a better perspective.  Well, when we reframe negative thoughts, we do something similar.   We take those negative thoughts and replace them with ones that allow us to look at the situation or issue from a different perspective and one that is more useful or resourceful. 

MAKE THE MOST OF ALL SITUATIONS.  Despite any challenges, we can choose to be resilient and endure.  We don’t have to lose the twinkle in our eyes. Yes, life is hard at times, but it is our choice how we deal with and what we take from those hard times.  Overcoming a challenge makes us feel good!

STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE NOT PERFECTION.  Too often we try to live up to someone else’s standards.  When doing this, if we fall short, how we feel about ourselves can often take a hit.  But, if we set our own standards and have excellence as our goal in meeting our own standards, we actually give ourselves the gifts of better confidence and enhanced self-esteem.  Those two gifts combined make things brighter for us and power up our positivity.

TAKE CHARGE OF OUR HAPPINESS.  Whether we are happy or not is totally dependent on us.  While we are not in control of what happens to us, we are in total control of how we respond to what happens to us.  Choose to respond to life in a positive way.

BE MINDFUL OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.  We need to remember that the past is the past.  We have no control over the future.  What we do have is the here and now – the present – and we need to make the most of it.    Maintaining balance in our present moment goes a long way in appreciating the happy and joyful moments that each day does contain.

CREATE AN INNER CIRCLE FILLED WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE. Surrounding ourselves with encouraging and positive people helps keep energy vampires from stealing our happiness and our positivity.

MEDITATE.  Research has shown that those who meditate experience more positive emotions than those who don’t.  Meditation helps us stay mindful and the ability to do so helps us remain positive when we face challenges.

COUNT BLESSINGS.  Looking at our lives through a lens of gratitude makes the good seem even better, the not-so-good look good, and makes us more appreciative of things.

INDULGE IN SOMETHING THAT BRINGS A SMILE TO OUR FACE.   The smile allows us to feel and think in a more positive way, so we need to do something each day that graces our face with a big smile. 

PICTURE A SUNNY DAY.  Think about the smile a sunny day will bring to you and the bounce it puts in your step. 

LISTEN TO UPBEAT MUSIC.  Whatever our favorite style of music is, listening to something with upbeat lyrics will get those endorphins flowing in our system.  When the “feel good” hormones are circulating, our positivity is stoked and fueled.

SING SILLY SONGS.   Whether the songs are from our childhood or current times, whether they are songs one sings to a young child, belting out a song that feels and/or sounds silly actually releases our inner child. That inner child will help us soak up the fun and the happy from those songs and doing that will help us feel more positive.  The joy experienced when our inner child is released goes a lot way in powering our positivity.

GET OUR GIGGLE GOING.  Laughter does a body good!  Not only does it relieve stress, but it creates an optimistic mindset which goes a long way in helping us maintain a positive outlook.

When we power up our positivity, we are able to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life.  Positivity brings optimism into our lives and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking.  When our positivity tank is full, we can see the bright side of life and expect the best to happen. And when a tough time challenges us, our positivity can provide the fuel to get us through the toughest of times.  As Gordon says, “Sometimes the most positive thing you can do is turn fear into fuel, frustration into focus and failure into finishing strong!”

“MAKE EACH DAY YOUR MASTERPIECE”

Today’s blog is inspired by John Wooden who was an American basketball player and head coach of the UCLA men’s basketball team from 1948-1975.  Wooden would often tell his players “Make each day your masterpiece.” With these five simple words he was encouraging his players to focus on what they were doing right now to the best of their ability.  That is sound advice for athletes and sound advice for us.

Following the advice to make each day our masterpiece helps us appreciate and live in the present moment.  Yesterday has happened and we can’t do anything about what did or didn’t take place.  Let go of it and of the past.  Tomorrow has yet to happen and we have no control over it so there is no use focusing our energies on it (unless it is to prepare for something we will be doing in the near future). There is no need to worry about tomorrow.   For our masterpiece, what is important is what is going on right now.

We usually associate masterpieces not with our days but rather with works of outstanding artistry; things done with extraordinary skill; superlative things.    However, we can craft each of our days in extraordinary ways so that each and every day is a masterpiece.  If someone were to randomly select a day by which to judge our lives, wouldn’t we want that day to be considered a masterpiece?  How do we do that? We go about making each day a masterpiece by:

Planning the work and working the plan.  Know what we must accomplish in the day and prioritize the time to get it done.

Being intentional with how we spend our time.  Be purposeful in what we do.  Ensure that there is balance (the various elements of our lives are in the right amount and proportion) in our days. 

Doing the best we can in all we do.  We need to approach all we do with 100% of ourselves, putting forth the best of our talents. Remain focused on the task at hand and minimize distractions.

Remaining open at all times to receive the unexpected as well as what we think is coming.  Start each day with an open mind about opportunities that may come our way. Be ready for the who, what, where, when, and why of each day. 

Looking for the wonder in ordinary things.  Have a sense of wonder and curiosity about things.  Find the joy in each day.  Take notice of small things.  Savor those moments that bring a mile to our face.  Pass on a smile.  Discover the beauty and wonder that surrounds us.  Avoid operating on autopilot so that we don’t miss or tune out the simple things that add quality to each day.

Having an attitude of gratitude. We need to approach each day with an attitude of gratitude being grateful for what we have.  

Maintaining a positive attitude.  A positive attitude manifests itself in positive thinking.  A positive attitude helps us to cope more easily with life by bringing optimism into our lives and by helping us avoid worry and negative thinking. With a positive attitude we see the bright side of life and expect the best to happen.  

Indulging in things that bring a smile to our face.    Smiles allow us to feel, think, and approach our daily activities in a more positive way.  They bring a bounce to our step.  They are also contagious and will help brighten those we meet along the way.

Laughing at least once a day.  Laughter does a body good!  Not only does it relieve stress, but it creates an optimistic mindset which helps us maintain a positive overtone to each day.

Doing small things with great love.   Be kind.  Lend others a hand, a smile. Be friendly, generous, and considerate.  Practice the golden rule of doing unto others as we would have them do unto us.

Other things we can do to make each day a masterpiece are:

• See possibilities.
• Remain open to the unexpected.
• Respond (rationally) rather than react (emotionally).
• Be enthusiastic.
• Let go especially of things out of our control.
• Be passionate.
• Expect great things to happen.
• Seize the day and approach it as an adventure.
• Focus on what we can control.
• Be resolute.

Vincent Van Gogh (Dutch Post-Impressionist painter) said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”    All of the “small things” we do each day can add up to our personal masterpieces if we live fully making the most of the 86,400 moments that we have each and every day.

“IT’S ALL ABOUT HOPE”

“It’s all about hope” are words Addie Taliaferro spoke after her son Adam sustained a career-ending spinal cord injury in his fifth college football game.  The injury occurred on September 23, 2000 and although surgery was successful, Taliaferro was only given a 3 % chance of ever walking again.  Yet, after only eight months of rehabilitation, Taliaferro was taking his first steps and did indeed walk again!  Not only walk, on September 1, 2001 he led the Penn State Nittany Lions football team onto the field for its first game of the season by skipping and jogging.  Yes, indeed.  Hope played a huge role in Adam overcoming such a devastating injury.  This week I want to explore several of the factors that helped bring about this miracle of mobility and that can help us when we are facing an overwhelming challenge.

HOPE.  Hope is when we believe tomorrow will be better.  It is the expectation of something beneficial in the future; it is a feeling of expectation and desire.  Hope is a motivator.  Hope helps us to keep going when times are hard.   Hope lets us know that no matter how bad things seem at the moment, no matter how dark, there will be something better and brighter around the corner.  Hope can and will make whatever we are dealing with in the present moment easier to handle and withstand.  Hope is like fuel.  It provides the ‘get up and go’ needed to get us where we need to go and to reach what we are trying to reach. 

Keys to nurturing hope include:

• Remaining confident.
• Being resolute.
• Having a positive orientation.
• Making the most of the present moment.
• Focusing on what we can control.
• Having an attitude of gratitude.
• Reflecting on how we overcame past challenges.
• Remaining resourceful.
• Focusing on solutions.
• Surrounding ourselves with people who will provide encouragement.

Addie Taliaferro was so right.  It is all about hope.  It is all about believing that we can overcome the challenge we are facing. 

RESILIENCE.  Resilience is our ability to bounce back from a challenging situation.  Resilience helps us remain healthy and helps us to cope with changes, challenges, and pressure.  People who lack resilience tend to become overwhelmed by change, challenges, and pressure.  They tend to dwell on the negative, on problems, and these people experience more stress and recover slower from change, challenges, and pressure.  People who are resilient still experience difficulties in life; they still experience stress.  However, resilience gives them a tool they can use to deal with whatever is going on and then move on.

Keys to being resilient are:

• Having hope.
• Using positive self-talk. 
• Finding something positive in everything; looking for the opportunities within the situation; the challenge. 
• Focusing on gratitude; instead of focusing on what is wrong or what is lacking, we can be grateful what we do have in the moment. 
• Viewing obstacles as nothing more than challenges.
• Being persistent.

PERSISTENCE.  Persistence is dogged determination, tenacity, and perseverance. It is the ability to keep on going no matter what one may be facing or how one feels about the situation. Interestingly, facing a challenge is a prerequisite for having to hang it there; for having to persist.  And, as we know, we will all face challenges along our life journey.  We all face situations where we might feel like giving up; that whatever we are facing seems too overwhelming to go on.  Persistence helps us maintain action and helps us produce results.  While there may be comfort for us in the past or the old, we can’t get rooted in it. We need to be able to continually move forward despite the difficulties created by the change. Persistence helps us become resolute in doing this; it gives us the resolve to go on; it provides the drive.  Remember, “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins. Not through strength, but through persistence.” (Unknown)

Keys to being persistent are:

• Remaining resilient.
• Having patience.
• Being determined so we can continue trying to do something although it may seem very difficult.
• Having confidence in ourselves and our abilities.
• Maintaining hope.
• Being committed to do what it takes to achieve what we want.
• Remaining optimistic.
• Having supporters who will stand by us providing encouragement.
• Having the courage to keep moving forward no matter what.

COURAGE is the mental or moral strength to face fear or danger or to persevere in the wake of adversity with confidence and resolution.  And, when one is courageous, they are brave; they are not deterred by danger or pain. 

Courage comes from within us and we need to be able to unlock it within.  Keys to doing so include:

• Persisting.
• Believing in ourselves.   
• Acknowledging our fears.  
• Letting go of the familiar. 
• Moving past worry. 
• Talking to someone.
• Having a can-do mindset.

MIND OVER MATTER.  Mind or mindset  – our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions.  Matter – our physical body and the environment, including our challenges.  Mind over matter is when our mind has an influence over our physical body and our environment.   Our mind/mindset has much to do with our ability to influence our bodies and our environment, especially in overcoming challenges.  Our mindset consists of beliefs and beliefs are thoughts that are repeated over and over for a period of time that determine how we respond to situations.   And the longer we think that something can or can’t happen, the more we believe that thought and the more we act accordingly. 

Keys to using the power of our mind to deal with challenges include:

• Responding instead of reacting.
• Adopting a positive, empowered, “I will get through this” attitude.
• Using positive self-talk.
• Practicing self-affirmation.
• Being proactive.
• Visualizing what we want.
• Setting daily intentions/goals and actively working toward them.

Author Roy T. Bennett says, “Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”   Despite his horrific injury, Taliaferro feels the same way.  He says, “Of course, I can be bitter about not playing football, but it really taught me how to discover myself,” Taliaferro said. “I truly thought I was just a football player and that’s all I could do. The injury was horrible, but the life lessons I learned going through it were priceless.”  We need to always remember that anything is possible so even when things seem grim, we shouldn’t count ourselves out.  We need to believe in ourselves and have hope, be resilient, be persistent, have courage, and practice mind over matter.