FRIENDLY ENCOURAGEMENT

See if you can relate to this story:  At six years old, little Beverly was put on academic probation after first grade. Her biggest problem was reading. The assigned books were all boring educational stories about polite children. It was thanks to a school librarian’s friendly encouragement that the girl finally liked to read.

After college, Beverly began working as a children’s librarian. She still found children’s books boring. Dick and Jane weren’t at all like lively, curious, funny, angry, unruly real kids.

So Beverly Cleary became an author herself.  She wrote Ramona the Pest, Henry Huggins, Ribsy, The Mouse and the Motorcycle — more than 40 books in all. Her books won dozens of awards, sold more than 90 million copies, and are still beloved today.

Not bad for the little girl who didn’t like to read.

I certainly have had many people at different points in my life who have provided just enough friendly encouragement to get me through some challenging moments.  Motivational speaker and author Matthew Kelly says, “We all need a little encouragement from time to time.  Keep your eyes wide open for the people who cross your path who need encouragement.”   I love this advice.  Certainly author Beverly Cleary benefitted greatly from the school librarian’s friendly encouragement. 

We all have the ability to do just what that school librarian did.  We have it within our power to do wonders for those around us just by being encouraging in our words and actions.    Encouraging words and actions provide support, confidence, and hope and can make a world of difference for someone who may be silently struggling with something or for someone who just needs that little nudge to step out of their comfort zone to move themselves forward.

Encouragement helps others by:

• Boosting self-esteem.
• Building confidence.
• Motivating them to try something they might be avoiding, to step out of their comfort zone, or to continue pursuing something that is difficult and challenging.
• Giving them a sense of empowerment.
• Providing hope.
• Powering up positivity and a can-do attitude.
• Acting like “Popeye’s spinach,” providing extra strength to deal with what they may be facing.
• Seeing things from a different perspective.
• Making them work harder to accomplish goals.
• Knowing that they are not along and that someone cares.

Some things we can do to provide friendly encouragement to others include:

Smile.  Smiles lift others physically, emotionally, and mentally and just make those on the receiving end feel better about everything.

Notice when one does something, big or small, and acknowledge what was done.  Too often we don’t share thoughts with others when they’ve accomplished something.  No matter how big or small, affirming others and letting them know that we noticed and providing positive comments and authentic praise all go a long way.  Celebrating accomplishments makes a big impression.

Read body language and respond accordingly to nudge others in a helpful direction (like the librarian in the story).

Provide words or notes with positive messages. Whether it is a text, an email, a social media post, a letter, or a card, sharing positive messages goes a long way in providing encouragement for others.  This is an easy way to share positive vibes and ignite positive energy.

Say and do things that make people feel extraordinarily special.  This is especially effective when done in front of others.  Talk about a self-esteem booster.

Give undivided attention.  Giving some quality time to others, especially in this busy world of ours, makes one feel special, heard, and appreciated.

Acknowledge feelings.  Sensing when one is happy, sad, troubled, or challenged and sharing in whatever they are feeling makes a difference.   

Provide warm hugs and embraces.  Physical touch can mean a lot.  Be sensitive to the person and situation and only give when appropriate.  Otherwise, provide hugs and embraces virtually.

Support one’s efforts.   Giving our time and expertise or lending our voice to someone who is beginning a new venture is a great way to provide support and encouragement.

Just be there.  Being there means we provide quiet strength for someone.  We can listen.  We can share the depth of a powerful silence.  We can provide thoughts and prayers. We can connect emotionally and hold space.

Encouragement is an extension of kindness and whether we encourage or extend kindness in a small or big way, it always makes a huge difference.  Just as kindness has a ripple effect so does encouragement.  Our encouraging words and deeds have the ability to help not only the people who cross our path who need encouragement but others caught up in the ‘ripple effect.’  Be that person who, “…brightens a way, brings laughter from pain, lifts up a spirit, and who is a blossom of joy to brighten a day.”  (Excerpted from Encouragement by Jim Ness.)  In the coming days, let’s all do our best to give some friendly encouragement to someone who seems to need the boost.