“DETERMINATION DESIGNS DESTINY”

Author Abhijit Naskar tells us that “Determination designs destiny.”  While many feel destiny – those things that will happen in the future – can’t be controlled, I believe we do have some control over our destiny by the choices we make and by taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions and the outcomes or consequences of each.  Examples of determination designing destiny can be seen time and time again in those that overcome what seem to be insurmountable challenges to reach something they really desire.

Take the story of Matthew, a young man whose mother is sharing his incredible story in her presentation, “Peace Corps Volunteer to Successful Teaching Career: Matthew’s Story.”  Through Matthew’s story she introduces us to an amazing young man and his amazing family.   Matthew was diagnosed with a genetic disorder as a toddler.  Growing up, he had to overcome challenges as a result of the disorder, the least of which was the taunting by his peers because he was “different.”  Despite being told he was not college material, Matthew attended college to become a guidance counselor.  Not only did he earn his Bachelor’s Degree, but he also completed a Master’s Degree. He worked with the Peace Corps in Bulgaria to start his career, returned to work in inner-city schools in Philadelphia, PA, USA, then moved to Alaska USA and worked with children in the bush before his passing in 2022.

Matthew’s story is one of determination.  Like Matthew, when we are determined to do something, we are motivated to succeed.  When we are motivated to succeed we get done what needs done; we are able to achieve our goals and objectives.  We are successful because when we are determined, we become hopeful, resilient, persistent, and courageous.   Determined people also have a strong support network around them, helping and cheering them on every step of the way.  Let’s look at how these traits can help us, as they did Matthew, in overcoming challenges and in designing our destiny.

HOPE.  Hope is the expectation of something beneficial in the future; it is a feeling of expectation and desire.  Hope is a motivator; it helps us to keep going when times are hard.   Hope lets us know that no matter how bad things seem at the moment, no matter how dark, there will be something better and brighter around the corner. 

Keys to nurturing hope include:

• Remaining confident.
• Being resolute.
• Having a positive orientation.
• Making the most of the present moment.
• Focusing on what we can control.
• Having an attitude of gratitude.
• Reflecting on how we overcame past challenges.
• Remaining resourceful.
• Focusing on solutions.
• Surrounding ourselves with people who will provide encouragement.

RESILIENCE.  Resilience is our ability to bounce back from a challenging situation.  Resilience helps us remain healthy and helps us to cope with changes, challenges, and pressure.  Those who are resilient still experience difficulties in life; they still experience stress.  However, resilience gives them a tool they can use to deal with whatever is going on and then move on.

Keys to being resilient are:

• Having hope.
• Using positive self-talk. 
• Finding something positive in everything; looking for the opportunities within the situation; the challenge. 
• Focusing on gratitude; instead of focusing on what is wrong or what is lacking, we can be grateful what we do have in the moment. 
• Viewing obstacles as nothing more than challenges.
• Being persistent.

PERSISTENCE.  Persistence is dogged determination, tenacity, and perseverance. It is the ability to keep on going no matter what one may be facing or how one feels about the situation.  Interestingly, facing a challenge is a prerequisite for having to hang it there; for having to persist.  And, as we know, we will all face challenges along our life journey.  Persistence helps us maintain action and helps us produce results.  Persistence helps us become resolute in moving forward; it gives us the resolve to go on; it provides the drive. 

Keys to being persistent are:

• Remaining resilient.
• Having patience.
• Being determined so we can continue trying to do something although it may seem very difficult.
• Having confidence in ourselves and our abilities.
• Maintaining hope.
• Being committed to do what it takes to achieve what we want.
• Remaining optimistic.
• Having supporters who will stand by us providing encouragement.
• Having the courage to keep moving forward no matter what.

COURAGE is the mental or moral strength to face fear or danger or to persevere in the wake of adversity with confidence and resolution.  Those who are courageous are brave; they are not deterred by danger or pain. 

Courage comes from within us and we need to be able to unlock it within.  Keys to doing so include:

• Having persisted.
• Believing in ourselves.  
• Acknowledging our fears.  
• Letting go of the familiar. 
• Moving past worry. 
• Having a can-do mindset.
• Talking to someone.

STRONG SUPPORT NETWORK.  A network is a group of people who provide us with practical or emotional support. When facing challenging times, a support system can help us stay focused, positive, and action oriented.  For most of us, it is our informal support system of family, friends, partners, role models, and mentors to whom we’ll first turn, but there are also  formal support groups and professionals who we can turn to for whatever support we need whenever we are experiencing life’s ups and downs.

Keys to an effective support network include:

• Being open to share what is going on.
• Being open to constructive suggestions.
• Surrounding oneself with positive, empathetic, trustworthy, compassionate people; those who genuinely care about what we is facing.
• Knowing everyone’s boundaries.
• Receiving emotional, spiritual, practical, and informational assistance.

Author Roy T. Bennett says, “Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”  Indeed.  Matthew faced many tough situations in his life all of which helped him become a very strong and determined person, one who took “you will never” statements as a challenge to do just the opposite. We need to always remember that anything is possible so even when things seem grim, we shouldn’t count ourselves out.  We need to believe in ourselves and have hope, be resilient, be persistent, have courage, and engage with a strong support system.  And we need to remember Naskar’s words of “Determination designs destiny.”