CONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD CAN HELP IN TIMES OF CHANGE

 

Enthusiasm was our topic last week, and I asked you to go for the gusto and approach everything enthusiastically! Did you do that? If so, did you notice any difference in how the week went for you? I hope so. I hope that you made the powerful energy of enthusiasm work for you!   Last week, I also shared with you that young children are my role models for the strategy of enthusiasm. Most children have an unbridled enthusiasm for all they do; they are naturally enthusiastic and happy about everything. This week, I want to focus on our inner child and how tapping into our inner child can be a useful strategy to help us stay sane and positive amid change.

What is our inner child? Our inner child is the part of us that takes us back to a time when: we were free spirits; our imaginations would run wild; we were creative beyond reason; our days were filled with laugher, fun, joy, and play; we were wildly happy about anything and everything; when cardboard boxes became houses, cars, airplanes or caves; curiosity drove a lot of what we did; we weren’t afraid to take a risk or make a mistake; we bounced back from any type of daily disruption; we lived in the moment.

This strategy of inner child relates to approaching situations and dealing with change as young children do – with resilience, joy, happiness, creativity, and enthusiasm. Again, think about what change does to us, especially a change we would label as major or seismic. We begin to question ourselves. Sometimes our confidence erodes. Our comfort zone shifts or disappears. Fear, anger, doubt, frustration – any number of emotions and feelings – may overcome us. The enthusiastic, happy, creative nature of our inner child can be a huge help in overcoming any paralyzing effects of change. In general, as we age we tend to lose some of our natural enthusiasm and happiness about things. This strategy reminds us that it is important to maintain (or recapture if lost) this inner child view of things.

Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”  Children are naturally enthusiastic and naturally happy; they are learning. Once we stop learning, we tend to become less enthusiastic about things/life. Or, once boundaries are placed on learning (like right/wrong/grades), we become less enthusiastic about learning and more concerned about getting it right or making the grade (hence the “artist” in each of us is “dashed”).

We sometimes need to look beyond the right/wrong answers or the grade. Look for opportunities to say, ‘Count me in,’ and ‘Hey, I’ll play!’  Look for a chance to make a fool of yourself.  Don’t be afraid to lose face and fail at something.  Don’t reject the idea of coming across as a human being.  Jump in.  Play.  Fall down.  Get up.  Play harder.  Come home sweaty and dirty.   Take a bath.  And sleep.

Don’t let age hamper your happiness. The world is as exciting today as it was when we were children. The trouble lies in the fact that we tend to lose “children’s eyes” and because of it, our enthusiasm for life. Connecting with our inner child is about finding that joy and the fun in the simple things. How do we do this? How do we connect with or release our inner child?

1 OBSERVE CHILDREN. Watch how children play and interact. What questions do they ask? How do they process information? If they are given a make believe box, what do they do with the items in it? If given boxes and sheets, what do they create?

2 ADOPT A CHILD’S SENSE OF CUROSITY AND DISCOVERY. Ask what if, why, and why not questions. Seek to learn want to know more about things. Look at things as a child would; explore things with a “beginner’s” mind. Create with Legos and Tinker Toys.

3 FIND YOUR FUN ZONE. What is it that makes you lighten up or laugh? If your children are young, engage in their fun time. If you have grandchildren, play with them. Be imaginative with them – be a pirate or a knight or a surfer or an animal – using things around the house (not store bought stuff). Blow bubbles. Play with play doh. Draw something with sidewalk chalk. Laugh out loud. Watch a funny movie. Seek thrills at an amusement park. Redefine the role of fun/play in your life. Set up “play time” for yourself.

4 “COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES.” Don’t let expectations constrain you. Dare to be like a child and go outside the lines. Walk on the wild side. (Create your own reality like Harold did in the children’s book Harold and the Purple Crayon.) Let your imagination run wild and free.

5 TRY LIVING IN THE MOMENT. Be present now. Let the past go for a moment and don’t think about the future for a moment. Get into what is happening here and now.

6 GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO MAKE MISTAKES. Young children don’t fear making a mistake. When they do, they learn from it. The figure out what they did wrong and work to right it.

7 ENJOY AND RELISH THE SMALL THINGS IN LIFE. Talk a walk and take in the sights and sounds around you. Watch the clouds. Moon gaze. Star gaze. Watch the sunrise. Watch the sunset.

8 GIVE YOURSELF A CHILD’S PARTY. Invite your friends to an “inner child” party. Play children’s games (musical chairs, pin the tail on the donkey, etc.)

Our inner child exudes unbridled joy, boundless energy, a free-spirited nature, a wild imagination, creativity, happiness, enthusiasm, resilience, stamina, laughter, fun, curiosity, a sense of wonder. Aren’t these characteristics that we want working for us as we deal with change? Leo F. Buscaglia wrote, “I am often accused of being childish.  I prefer to interpret that as child-like.  I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things.  I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish.  I still listen to instinctual urges.  I play with leaves.  I skip down the street and run against the wind.  I never water my garden without soaking myself.  It has been after such times of joy that I have achieved my greatest creativity and produced my best work.” Buscaglia’s advice is perfect to help us deal with the changes in our life. Perhaps we can achieve our greatest creativity and produce our finest work (as we deal with change) after releasing our inner child. Tag, you’re it!