“RISING ABOVE ANYTHING LIFE CAN THROW AT YOU”

Joely Fisher (an American actress and singer), in an interview following the passing of her half-sister, Carrie Fisher, commented on the need to “rise above anything life can throw at you.”  Life does challenge us at times with things like loss (loved ones, relationships, jobs, homes…), seismic changes, illnesses, or tough choices.  Our ability to rise above anything that comes our way rests with our response, with our ability to adjust and adapt to what we are facing.

For most of us, it is hard to deal with life’s challenging moments.  Thinking about “rising above” is probably the last thing on our minds.  Sometimes it just feels easier to cocoon ourselves and not have to deal with anything.  While cocooning ourselves may make us feel good for a little bit, it does not help us deal with whatever happened and it does not help us move on.  Martin Short, an American comedian who lost his mother, father, and older brother during his adolescent years tells us, “Something terrible can happen to you, and yet, the day after this something terrible, the sun still rises, and life goes on.  And therefore, so must you.”

Since most of us have difficulty with rising above anything life can throw at us, let’s take some time this week to look at some things we can do to help us move forward.  We can:

Take an emotional time out.  It is our response, our reaction to whatever comes our way that determines our ability to rise above it and move on.  The initial, natural response is an emotional one.  Feel the emotion; acknowledge the emotion but then we need to take an emotional time out so our objective side can take over and help us come up with ways to deal with what we are facing.

Think like a winner.  Believing that we can overcome whatever life threw at us is half the battle.  Have confidence.  Steer clear from doubts because they will only immobilize any effort.  Self-doubts also turn attention away from solutions and keep the attention on the issue.  The calmer we can be, the clearer our mind and the better we are able to think divergently and creatively about the issue(s).  Winners don’t quit; they rise above to meet the challenge head on.

Stay the course.  Never give up, give in, or lose hope.  We all have something inside of us that is greater than any challenge we may encounter on our life journey.  We must believe in ourselves and in our inner strength and resilience.  If we remember that strength doesn’t come from we can’t do but rather from overcoming that which we think we can’t we will put ourselves on a path to rise above the challenge.

Continue to pursue our dream.   Understanding what and where we want to go in life will provide our vision and spirit.  This vision provides motivation to keep us moving above and beyond.   Vision leads to goals leads to action leads to movement leads to rising above!

Maintain a positive outlook.  Even though things may be tough right now, look beyond and notice what is good.  American poet Walt Whitman said, “Keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.”  The sunshine is our positive outlook; the shadows are whatever we are facing.

Eliminate absolutes like ‘never’ and ‘always.’   Negative absolutes like ‘I will never get over this’ keep us weighted down.  And, when weighted down it is difficult to rise above anything.  If we eliminate negative absolutes from our thoughts and replace them with more relative, open words like ‘sometimes’ and eventually (I will eventually get over this), that weight will be lifted, we will feel “lighter,” and we will be better able to rise above whatever we are facing.

Move beyond fear.  Avoid worrying about ‘what might be.’   When we fear our struggles, they tend to consume us.  But, when we face our struggles, we tend to overcome them.  Focus on the here and now and on what we can control.  Don’t waste energy on things over which we have no control.

Talk through the situation. Talking to others will help put or keep things in perspective. Other people may have similar experiences and may be able to share how they dealt with the issue.  Seek expert help when the issue seems insurmountable and the desire to give up is strong.

Rising above anything life throws at us means we elevate ourselves; we go beyond ourselves and we lift ourselves over what initially seems to be an obstacle.  Maya Angelou (American poet and civil rights activist) tells us, “No sun outlasts its sunset but will rise again and bring the dawn.”  And so it is with us.  Nothing life throws at us can outlast our determination, our will, our desire to move forward.  We can operate at a “higher frequency.”  We have the power in us to create opportunities and pathways to move beyond.