COMMITTING TO CHANGE

Do you know people who have undergone a lot of change in their lives who make the process look easy? Doesn’t matter if it has been major or seismic change, they seem to be able handle anything and everything that happens in the changed environment?   I recently interviewed people that I’ve encountered who do handle any type of change with ease and found that they all had one characteristic in common: THEY ALL COMMITTED TO THE CHANGE.

Whether they wanted what changed to happen or not, once the change occurred, they were committed to it; they were dedicated; making things work for the best became their focus. When you make a commitment to or for something, you put time and energy into making sure that you will succeed in making things work out for the best. Commitment is where you tell yourself “failure is not an option.”   (This phrase became well known during the flight of Apollo 13. After the spacecraft encountered its crippling explosion (a seismic change), flight director Gene Kranz,  in working with NASA staff on how to get the astronauts home safely, uttered the famous phrase. He was totally committed to the goal of returning the astronauts safely to Earth.) People who make dealing with change look easy are committed to working through what the change has rendered and are committed to succeeding in reaching goals set in the new environment.

What does it mean to be committed to something? To me, it means that we are dedicated to whatever: a cause, an activity, an idea, our goals. So, those people who seem to handle change with ease are dedicated to the changed environment and to doing what it takes to function and be successful in the new environment.

Let’s take a look at the types of things we do when we are committed to something:

We become focused.  We zero in on what must be done to survive or make a go of it in the changed environment. We direct our attention to what needs to be done, should be done, and will be done. Only results are accepted when we are so focused; no excuses.

We are determined. We have the resolve to deal with anything that comes our way in the changed environment. Roadblocks and obstacles become nothing more than challenges to be overcome. Our resolve energizes us to work harder to achieve our goals in the changed environment.

We become action oriented. We set goals and then work to achieve them. We work through any resistance to what we are trying to accomplish.

We create expectations. We develop a vision for what we want to happen in the changed environment; what the future will be like in the new conditions. These expectations have an impact on the choices we make as we move along the path in the changed environment.

We think divergently. Anthony Robbins said, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” When we find ourselves in a changed environment, what worked for us before may not work for us now. When we are committed to making the changed environment successful, we may often find ourselves thinking “outside the box” to come up with solutions that work for what we may be encountering.

We become passionate about the situation. While we may not agree with what changed or why it changed, we work to find meaning and purpose in the changed environment. It is the passion that keeps us going; that keeps up moving forward. The passion adds excitement to what we are doing.

We are willing to make sacrifices. When we are committed to something, we will do whatever it takes to achieve our goals. We give 100% or more of ourselves. In standing by our commitment, we may have to give up some things in order to achieve our goals. We put the greater good ahead of other things.

Take a moment to reflect on your current situation. Are you committed to something? (A relationship? Your job? A favorite college or pro football team?) If you are committed, do you see yourself with any of the seven characteristics listed above? Now, if you handle change fairly well, you can see that one reason may be that you committed to it and to being successful within the new environment.

If you struggle with change, one reason may be your unwillingness to accept and commit to it. Next time change rocks your world, think about making a commitment to it and be focused, determined, action oriented, and passionate. Create expectations. Think divergently. And, make sacrifices. Doing so may make all the difference for you.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM ABOUT CHANGE

Over the past two weeks, I’ve attended several high school graduation-related events and a college new student orientation. One thing all of these events have had in common has been motivational stories about one’s new beginning and facing the future. What every speaker or presenter was doing was trying to prepare these young adults for the latest change in their lives. Since this blog focuses on change and dealing with it, I want to take time this week to share with you some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that were shared with the latest group of high school graduates because these gems will also be useful to you as you deal with change, especially letting go of what is for something that will be; for that new beginning.

PERSISTENCE: Persistence or determination, tenacity, and perseverance found its way into several of the presentations I attended.   This is an important concept when dealing with change because when we get overwhelmed by what is happening or paralyzed by being forced out of our comfort zone, it is easy for us to just give in or give up. But giving in or giving up in not an option when change is upon us. Some of the gems I heard included:

Fall seven times, stand up eight. Japanese Proverb

Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.  Gever Tulley

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. Thomas Carlyle

RELATIONSHIPS: Relationships focus on friendships and having people with whom we can interact in our lives. Since chaos, turmoil, and disruption can enter our lives with change, what better time to have a ‘touchstone’ in our lives – someone to share what we’re going through. This concept did find its way into several events and the thoughts that struck me most were:

Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Pythagoras

Good friends help you find important things when you have lost them. Your smile, your hope, and your courage. Doe Zantamata 

A friend is someone who believes in you, when you have ceased to believe in yourself.  Unkown

NEW BEGINNINGS: A new beginning follows the ending of something. New beginnings provide us a new adventure, a fresh start, new hope. New beginnings are what allow us to move forward after change happens. Whether the change was wanted or planned (like a high school graduation) or happens unexpectedly, a new beginning provides us a fresh start; a time of unlimited opportunity.  As you can imagine, new beginnings is a popular theme at graduation events. Some of my favorite quotes were:

Look with favor upon a bold beginning. Virgil 

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Seneca 

Each ending presents a new beginning. The future holds new adventures to experience, new mountains to climb.  Unknown

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES: Another popular theme with graduation speakers is that of overcoming obstacles. This theme focuses on one’s ability to change course and direction to get around obstacles placed in the way of one’s life journey.   When in the midst of change, life can feel like a roller coaster – full of ups and downs. Those ups and downs offer us opportunities and chances to determine what is important and what direction we really want to take in the changed environment. Some points of wisdom that I heard include:

Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind. Leonardo da Vinci 

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. Booker T. Washington 

The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it. Epicurus 

In the beginning, we see them as wrong turns and hopeless situations. But when we face and accept them without being defeated, they become life’s most powerful learning curves. Dodinsky 

TAKING RISKS. Taking risks involves doing something that helps achieve a desired solution but in which there is a lack of certainty about the outcome and/or a fear of failure. When change alters the course of one’s journey and a new route must be tried, there is a certain amount of risk involved when traveling down the unknown route. However, some say a turtle only advances by sticking its neck out. So it is with us. We must ‘stick our neck out;’ we must take some risks to make the necessary adjustments in the altered environment; we must ‘stick out our neck’ to move forward. While we may be able to guide where we want to go or what we want to do in the changed environment, we aren’t able to control the outcome. All we can do is plan what we want. In planning what we want, we make decisions. And in making those decisions, we take a certain amount of risk.  Quotes commonly heard included:

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Nothing ventured; nothing gained. Benjamin Franklin 

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. Andre Gide 

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt 

MISTAKES: A mistake is an error or something that is incorrect. When change is upon us, we often have to make decisions about the “new environment” or the direction we need to take to effectively deal with the change. Depending on the situation, our state-of-mind, and the information available when we are making these decisions, it is not uncommon to see lots and lots of mistakes being made. And, if our role in the changed situation has us performing unfamiliar tasks, look out! Mistakes are bound to happen.  Mistakes are actually good for us. They do show us things that need a closer look; that need more attention. Instead of feeling as if they are something ‘bad,’ as failures, or as more obstacles in the changed environment, we need to instead view them as opportunities for growth and learning. A few of my favorite thoughts were:

If you want to succeed, double your failure rate. Thomas Watson 

When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. Hugh White 

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

DREAMS AND GOALS: This topic was the most popular with graduation speakers. Rightly so as dream and goals are things one aspires to in the future. Not surprising that these items are frequently found in graduation and orientation presentations. Let’s think about how these relate to change. With change, something becomes different. We are moved out of the comfort zone. Both our personal and professional lives can become unsettled. Dreams are a way of helping us deal with the unsettled nature of things. If we dream about something happening and really desire that to happen, we might work hard to make that dream come true. Dreams give us possibilities. Goals are our plans for the future. Goals are what we are trying to achieve. When we set goals, we determine what result we want and then we put forth effort to achieve that result. Quotes related to this area that I liked include:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.   Goethe 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Life the life you’ve imagined. Thoreau 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Go out there and live your dreams!   Unknown

Nothing happens unless first a dream. Carl Sandburg 

Believe in yourself; follow your dreams; live life to the fullest and enjoy the journey. Unknown

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. Unknown

If you can dream it, you can do it. Walt Disney 

It’s a brand-new chapter in your life. Take the time to enjoy your success, but remember that life stretches before you with a variety of paths to follow and many decisions to make. The time has now come to set new goals and to reach for new heights. A world of opportunities awaits.  Unknown

What I found interesting, as I sat to categorize the “words of wisdom” that I heard, was how closely they paralleled the strategies in my book Facing the Sunshine and Avoiding the Shadows: Strategies to Stay and Positive Amid Change and how often I wrote about the concepts or even used some of the quotes in my blog posts. I guess the proverb “you can never have enough of a good thing” is true! I sure hope that you were able to gather some good thoughts from these words of wisdom, thoughts that will be of help when you are dealing with change.  So, to all the high school graduates dealing with the latest change in their lives and to anyone for whom life has brought change, reflect on these words of wisdom, trust and believe in yourself, and use the power within to guide you on your journey!