OVERCOMING PERSONAL BARRIERS

On June 6, 2017 singer Mandy Harvey dazzled the America’s Got Talent (an American talent competition where diverse performers vie for a cash prize) judges and audience with the rendition of Try, a song she wrote.  Mandy is an American jazz singer and songwriter.  Oh, and did I mention that Mandy is deaf?  You read that right.  As a 19-year-old college freshman, Mandy (whose major was vocal music) lost her hearing due to a connective-tissue disorder that deteriorated her auditory nerves.  Discouraged by this diagnosis Mandy left college and returned home where she took American Sign Language classes and elementary education courses at a local community college.

 Although she had decided to take time off from singing, she did continue to play the guitar with her father.  With her father’s encouragement, they made a home recording of OneRepublic’s Come Home which helped Mandy realize that despite her hearing loss she could still sing in key.   This realization motivated her to continue with a singing career.

Mandy’s life journey took an unexpected turn when she lost her hearing, a turn that could have changed the direction of her life.  Instead she decided that she was tired of letting “this barrier win” and she took action to overcome the barrier.

The actions Mandy took led to her overcoming her personal barrier and achieving success in her life and career.  The actions she took to overcome her personal barrier would be beneficial for us to explore as they might just help us deal with changes, especially seismic ones.  So, this week, let’s take a look at seven things she did:

1. Get past the initial emotional response. When barriers are placed in our path, it is common to get flustered and react in an emotional way. This type of reaction isn’t usually productive. It may be cathartic, but it isn’t going to remove the barrier.  When facing the barrier, we must take an “emotional timeout” and begin to look at the situation with our logic and reason lenses. This will help identify the relevance of the barrier and the means by which to overcome it.

 2. Be action oriented. Change overwhelms us.  The barriers within the change can stop us in our tracks; paralyze us.  This is the time to take a deep breath and step into action.  Focus on the following: Just what is the barrier? The circumstance?  Can I handle it; control it? What parts can’t I control?  How do I gain the upper hand with this? How can I influence this circumstance?  What resources do I need?    Don’t be afraid to challenge the barrier.  Mandy Harvey certainly did.  If negative thoughts (I could never do…, I don’t think I can do this…, I’m not as good as….) dominate your mind, what action can you take to eliminate the negative?  Can you try to focus on the positive?  Is the negative a learned, an ingrained behavior?  If so, you can unlearn it.  Change the ‘I could never’ and the ‘I don’t think’ to words of encouragement.  Don’t feed the cycle of negativity.  If we are focused on a specific goal (I want to make…  I want to be…), we need to think about what action can we take to work toward that goal?  What are the steps needed to move in the direction of that goal?  We can’t sit on the sidelines; we have to take action!

3. Don’t give up on your dream.  Know what you want.  This isn’t about the how, only the what. In order to break the barrier, you need a firm foundation from which to step. Understanding what and where you want to go in life will provide your foundation.   Have a vision for what you want.  Set goals to reach that vision; these goals will help you break through the barrier.

4. Trust and believe in yourself. Believe you are worthy.  Whatever your goal, your dream, or your desire, you are worthy of achieving it. Replace the self-limiting tape that your mind might be playing with a newer one that contains the     truth – you are worthy to have your heart’s true desire.  Think like a winner.  Believing barriers can be overcome is half the battle.  Have confidence.  Steer clear from doubts because they will only immobilize any effort.  Winners don’t quit; they rise above to meet the challenge head on.

5. Don’t give up or in. Harvey’s desire to do more with her life than just give up was a driving force that helped her eventually take the stage and sing again.  One way Harvey did this was to practice positive self-talk.  We are what we think.  If we think negative, we will be negative.  If we think we can’t, we won’t be able to.  If we think we can, we will be able to.   If we feed our minds positive, it bolster our resolve to keep moving forward and not give up or give in.

6. Leap over the barrier with someone by your side. Harvey spoke about the support she felt from those around her.  If we have friends and family in our lives, then we have a built-in support network to help us deal with the barriers.  Talking to others will help put or keep things in perspective. Other people may have similar experiences and may be able to share how they dealt with the barrier.  Seek expert help when the barrier seems insurmountable and the desire to give up is strong.

7. Do not be afraid to fail. Harvey says, “It’s amazing how you can adapt if you are willing to put in the work and not be afraid to fail.”  Taking risks and chance is a part of moving forward.  If we try something and it doesn’t work, we need to find the lesson in it – figuring out what went wrong gives us some very important information. This review allows us to evaluate what worked and what didn’t, and more importantly, why. Often when we are removed from a situation, we can look at it more objectively which will allow us to make different choices.  Learning from our mistakes gives up more options to try when breaking barriers.

Harvey says, “I am finding my own joy…not from feeling the piano but in overcoming the personal barrier.”  If you set your heart on overcoming whatever seems to be the stumbling block, the personal barrier, you will succeed in overcoming the barrier and experience joy.  Someone once said, “If the boulders are moved, even a river will change its course.”  Change often requires us to change our course. Don’t fear doing so.  Instead, look at the barrier as a challenge that with a positive attitude becomes an opportunity to develop our skills, experience, knowledge, networking, and/or relationships and in doing so, helps us move any personal barriers we may be facing.

MISTAKES CAN LEAD TO GOOD THINGS

 

 Two weeks ago, a friend and I visited the Sturgis Pretzel House in Lititz, Pennsylvania (USA). Did you know that the hard pretzel came about as a result of a mistake? Yes, indeed. Pretzels originated in southern Europe around 610 AD and were originally soft ‘treats.’ German immigrants brought these soft pretzels to Pennsylvania. In 1861, Julius Sturgis was working in a bakery in Lititz. He inadvertently left a batch of soft pretzels in an oven overnight. The next morning he discovered his mistake. Those soft pretzels had hardened. He tasted one, thought it was pretty good and would sell, but the owner of the bakery disagreed. Not to be dissuaded, Julius reworked the recipe, purposefully made a batch of hard pretzels, and gave the owner another taste test. The owner again said no. (Do you think he was afraid of change?)

Julius thought the hard pretzel had merit so he quit his job at that bakery, kept reworking his recipe, and eventually bought property at what is now 219 E. Main Street in Lititz. At that site, in 1861, the Julius Sturgis Bakery became the first commercial pretzel bakery in America. And, as they say, the rest is history.

From a mistake we have the wonderful snack of hard pretzels. Mistakes are a form of failure; they are errors; something in a piece of work or in a decision that is incorrect.  Usually mistakes are unintentional. (Julius leaving the soft pretzels in the oven overnight is a perfect example of this.) Just as failure or the lack of success with something is often construed as negative, so it is with mistakes. (The bakery owner certainly thought of the overbaked soft pretzel in negative terms.)

However, as we know from the Julius Sturgis story, mistakes don’t have to always be looked at in a negative light.   In his case, the mistake was an adjustment to the original plan (from a soft pretzel to a hard one). Julius took the opportunity to turn his mistake into a learning opportunity.  And, therein lays a wonderful strategy when we are dealing with change.

When change and transition are upon us, we often have to make decisions about the “new environment” or the direction we need to take to effectively deal with the change. Depending on the situation, our state-of-mind, and the information available when we are making these decisions, it is not uncommon to see lots and lots of mistakes being made. And, if our role in the changed situation has us performing unfamiliar tasks, look out! Mistakes are bound to happen.

This strategy offers us a new way of looking at mistakes. Instead of feeling as if they are something ‘bad,’ as failures, or as more obstacles in the changed environment, we need to instead view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Mistakes are actually good for us. They do show us things that need a closer look; that need more attention.

Thomas Edison once said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” Edison was inspired by his mistakes; they encouraged him to work harder to find solutions for his work. If Edison hadn’t savored his mistakes, he may never have invented the light bulb.

Life is about choices and even more so when dealing with change. Choices mean decisions. If the decision is right and works well, things will continue to progress. If the decision is wrong, look for the lesson in it; re-evaluate and try again. As long as we are learning from our mistakes (and don’t make the same mistake over and over again), we will continue to move forward.

How else can mistakes help us deal with change and transition? They are an indication of our willingness to try new things. Trying new things is a sign of growth and improvement. Mistakes are also a way for us to acknowledge reality. 

To make mistakes work to our advantage we need to:

Adopt a new philosophy toward mistakes. Instead of viewing them as something bad, do consider them as “gifts of learning” or “pearls of wisdom.” Mistakes do help us learn and grow.

Look for the lesson in each mistake. Assess what happened. Think about what can be done differently if in a similar situation or faced with a similar decision. Determine if they were actually any advantages or benefits with this mistake.

Look at mistakes as blessings. Self-help book author Karen Salmansohn has coined a new word: blesson. According to her, “It’s when you’re able to view painful lessons as blessings. A blesson is what happens when you see the blessing in the lesson that your challenge taught you. Finding the good, the blessing in our mistake will help propel us to continue on in a more positive and productive way.”

Let go of our fear of making a mistake. We are human so we are bound to make mistakes at some point in our life. It is important to accept the concept that we will make mistakes and as long as we look for the lesson in each (and not keep making the same one over and over), we may just get the hang of what we are doing leading to us becoming stronger and better all around. As motivational author Catherine Pulsifer said, “We all make them, the difference is what we do after we make the mistake, how we see the mistake – a learning experience or a failure.”

Acknowledge mistakes and accept responsibility for them. Avoid placing blame, especially on someone else.

Share with someone what happened. Talk about the mistake with someone. Perhaps they’ve done something similar and can share their experience, how they coped, and what they learned.

Thomas Watson (a Puritan preacher and author) said, “If you want to succeed, double your failure rate.”   If you fail at something; if you make a mistake, take a step back and look for the lesson in what happened. Be like Julius Sturgis. Think about how things could be done differently and then work to implement those changes. Don’t let a fear of mistakes hold you back from negotiating the changes in your life. Be bold. Be courageous. And, take a closer look at what didn’t work and then work harder to find a solution that does work.

WHEN THE ODDS SEEM OVERWHELMING…

 

On Saturday, August 13, I was watching Olympic track and field events with my husband.   In a qualifying heat for one of the women’s races, all but one runner came in with times under a minute. During the heat, this one runner was woefully behind the entire race. Despite the overwhelming odds, she finished the race with a time over a minute, seven seconds. My husband turned to me and said, “You should write about overcoming overwhelming odds. That would make a good blog.”

I gave some thought to that racer and decided that it was pure persistence that kept her going despite being left in the proverbial dust by all the other runners. Persistence is dogged determination, tenacity, and perseverance. It is the ability to keep on going no matter what one may be facing or how one feels about the situation. Whether in a competition such as this woman was or whether in our regular lives, we all face situations where we might feel like giving up; that whatever we are facing seems too overwhelming to go on. (And, in situations where change is sudden, unexpected, or unwanted it is very easy to just want to give up.)

Persistence is an important life skill. When we get overwhelmed by what is happening or paralyzed by being forced out of our comfort zones, it is easy for us to just give in or give up. Neither of those is an option when change is upon us. Neither of those helps us in dealing with what we are facing.  It is our ability to keep moving forward, to persist even in the face of adversity that will help us continually move forward.

There are many stories about the power of persistence from nature and life in general. Take, for example, Helen Keller and her persistent teacher Anne Sullivan. “They overcame incredible obstacles in the 49 years they worked together. Helen wasn’t born deaf and blind, but came down with a mysterious illness when she was 18 months old in 1882. It left her without sight and sound at a crucial stage of development. After years of struggle, her parents were able to find Anne Sullivan, a recent graduate of the Perkins School for the Blind. By this time, Helen was extremely moody and difficult to reach. However, Anne steadfastly tried to teach Helen sign language by pressing the symbols into Helen’s palm. In a famous “eureka” moment, Anne was finally able to make Helen connect the letters W-A-T-E-R being written in one palm, with the water from a pump being poured on the other. From there, Helen began a lifelong journey to interact with the world around her. For 25 years she worked to improve her speech so others could understand her. She graduated cum laude from Radcliff in 1904 at 24, and wrote her first book, The Story of My Life, with the help of Sullivan and Sullivan’s future husband, John Macy.” (biography.com)

If it weren’t for the persistence of Anne Sullivan Helen Keller may never have learned to read or to speak. If Anne can alter the course of events in Helen’s life, just think of what our collective and persistent efforts can achieve! When we are not excited by a change or are fearful of what the change might bring, it is easy to lose sight of where we are going or to lose motivation for what we are doing. Persistence helps us maintain action and helps us produce results. While there may be comfort for us in the past or the old, we can’t get rooted in it. We need to be able to continually move forward despite the difficulties created by the change. Persistence helps us become resolute in doing this; it gives us the resolve to go on; it provides the drive. If you don’t think persistence is a part of your skill set, here are a few things you can do to begin to develop the skill:

Study successful people. Think of people who persisted despite the odds (e.g., Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Beethoven, Abraham Lincoln). Make a list of what they did to persist in the wake of what they were facing.

Have a wish, dream, or goal. What is it we want to see happen or what we hope to accomplish? Write the wish or dream down and if more than one, prioritize them. Remember, wishes with planning become goals. Goals provide us with a purpose. And, goals with persistence become achievements.

Have a plan for how the wishes/dreams/goals will be reached. Outline the steps that will be needed to reach the wish/dream/goal.

Remain upbeat and positive. Maintaining a positive outlook is crucial in developing persistence. The time, setbacks, and the energy drain can all take a toll and weaken one’s resolve.

Stay focused and motivated. Being persistent is not easy and it is not quick. One must be determined, focused, and motivated to keep on task no matter what else is going on. Total commitment to the purpose of the task is needed.

Learn to ‘jump hurdles.’ Life would be great if it were all smooth sailing. When developing persistence, expect some rough waters along the way; speed bumps; roadblocks. Have strategies in place to handle the unexpected like hearing no a lot or meeting resistance.

Develop a support network. Make sure there is a strong connection with at least one person who can provide encouragement and motivation. Those in this network should be considered ‘accountability’ managers.

The next time you are faced with a change or something that just overwhelms you and you feel like giving up, picture Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller at that water pump.  Hang in there. You too, with persistence, will be able to negotiate the ‘waves of change’ in your life and overcome things when the odds are stacked against you. Remember, “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins. Not through strength, but through persistence.” (Unknown)

WORDS OF WISDOM ABOUT CHANGE

Over the past two weeks, I’ve attended several high school graduation-related events and a college new student orientation. One thing all of these events have had in common has been motivational stories about one’s new beginning and facing the future. What every speaker or presenter was doing was trying to prepare these young adults for the latest change in their lives. Since this blog focuses on change and dealing with it, I want to take time this week to share with you some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that were shared with the latest group of high school graduates because these gems will also be useful to you as you deal with change, especially letting go of what is for something that will be; for that new beginning.

PERSISTENCE: Persistence or determination, tenacity, and perseverance found its way into several of the presentations I attended.   This is an important concept when dealing with change because when we get overwhelmed by what is happening or paralyzed by being forced out of our comfort zone, it is easy for us to just give in or give up. But giving in or giving up in not an option when change is upon us. Some of the gems I heard included:

Fall seven times, stand up eight. Japanese Proverb

Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.  Gever Tulley

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. Thomas Carlyle

RELATIONSHIPS: Relationships focus on friendships and having people with whom we can interact in our lives. Since chaos, turmoil, and disruption can enter our lives with change, what better time to have a ‘touchstone’ in our lives – someone to share what we’re going through. This concept did find its way into several events and the thoughts that struck me most were:

Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Pythagoras

Good friends help you find important things when you have lost them. Your smile, your hope, and your courage. Doe Zantamata 

A friend is someone who believes in you, when you have ceased to believe in yourself.  Unkown

NEW BEGINNINGS: A new beginning follows the ending of something. New beginnings provide us a new adventure, a fresh start, new hope. New beginnings are what allow us to move forward after change happens. Whether the change was wanted or planned (like a high school graduation) or happens unexpectedly, a new beginning provides us a fresh start; a time of unlimited opportunity.  As you can imagine, new beginnings is a popular theme at graduation events. Some of my favorite quotes were:

Look with favor upon a bold beginning. Virgil 

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Seneca 

Each ending presents a new beginning. The future holds new adventures to experience, new mountains to climb.  Unknown

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES: Another popular theme with graduation speakers is that of overcoming obstacles. This theme focuses on one’s ability to change course and direction to get around obstacles placed in the way of one’s life journey.   When in the midst of change, life can feel like a roller coaster – full of ups and downs. Those ups and downs offer us opportunities and chances to determine what is important and what direction we really want to take in the changed environment. Some points of wisdom that I heard include:

Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind. Leonardo da Vinci 

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. Booker T. Washington 

The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it. Epicurus 

In the beginning, we see them as wrong turns and hopeless situations. But when we face and accept them without being defeated, they become life’s most powerful learning curves. Dodinsky 

TAKING RISKS. Taking risks involves doing something that helps achieve a desired solution but in which there is a lack of certainty about the outcome and/or a fear of failure. When change alters the course of one’s journey and a new route must be tried, there is a certain amount of risk involved when traveling down the unknown route. However, some say a turtle only advances by sticking its neck out. So it is with us. We must ‘stick our neck out;’ we must take some risks to make the necessary adjustments in the altered environment; we must ‘stick out our neck’ to move forward. While we may be able to guide where we want to go or what we want to do in the changed environment, we aren’t able to control the outcome. All we can do is plan what we want. In planning what we want, we make decisions. And in making those decisions, we take a certain amount of risk.  Quotes commonly heard included:

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Nothing ventured; nothing gained. Benjamin Franklin 

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. Andre Gide 

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt 

MISTAKES: A mistake is an error or something that is incorrect. When change is upon us, we often have to make decisions about the “new environment” or the direction we need to take to effectively deal with the change. Depending on the situation, our state-of-mind, and the information available when we are making these decisions, it is not uncommon to see lots and lots of mistakes being made. And, if our role in the changed situation has us performing unfamiliar tasks, look out! Mistakes are bound to happen.  Mistakes are actually good for us. They do show us things that need a closer look; that need more attention. Instead of feeling as if they are something ‘bad,’ as failures, or as more obstacles in the changed environment, we need to instead view them as opportunities for growth and learning. A few of my favorite thoughts were:

If you want to succeed, double your failure rate. Thomas Watson 

When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. Hugh White 

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

DREAMS AND GOALS: This topic was the most popular with graduation speakers. Rightly so as dream and goals are things one aspires to in the future. Not surprising that these items are frequently found in graduation and orientation presentations. Let’s think about how these relate to change. With change, something becomes different. We are moved out of the comfort zone. Both our personal and professional lives can become unsettled. Dreams are a way of helping us deal with the unsettled nature of things. If we dream about something happening and really desire that to happen, we might work hard to make that dream come true. Dreams give us possibilities. Goals are our plans for the future. Goals are what we are trying to achieve. When we set goals, we determine what result we want and then we put forth effort to achieve that result. Quotes related to this area that I liked include:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.   Goethe 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Life the life you’ve imagined. Thoreau 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Go out there and live your dreams!   Unknown

Nothing happens unless first a dream. Carl Sandburg 

Believe in yourself; follow your dreams; live life to the fullest and enjoy the journey. Unknown

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. Unknown

If you can dream it, you can do it. Walt Disney 

It’s a brand-new chapter in your life. Take the time to enjoy your success, but remember that life stretches before you with a variety of paths to follow and many decisions to make. The time has now come to set new goals and to reach for new heights. A world of opportunities awaits.  Unknown

What I found interesting, as I sat to categorize the “words of wisdom” that I heard, was how closely they paralleled the strategies in my book Facing the Sunshine and Avoiding the Shadows: Strategies to Stay and Positive Amid Change and how often I wrote about the concepts or even used some of the quotes in my blog posts. I guess the proverb “you can never have enough of a good thing” is true! I sure hope that you were able to gather some good thoughts from these words of wisdom, thoughts that will be of help when you are dealing with change.  So, to all the high school graduates dealing with the latest change in their lives and to anyone for whom life has brought change, reflect on these words of wisdom, trust and believe in yourself, and use the power within to guide you on your journey!

TURNING THE OBSTACLES AND ROADBLOCKS OF CHANGE INTO OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH

Two weeks ago, we explored how a can-do attitude, that mindset that WE CAN DO IT, is a key to successfully dealing with change. With a can-do attitude, we are better positioned to overcome obstacles and problems that get in the way of successfully managing change.

This week, we are going to spend some time talking about overcoming obstacles or negotiating the roadblocks on our journey of change and transition. Negotiating roadblocks is a strategy that focuses on the ability to change course and direction when change and transition place obstacles in the way of life’s journey.   Marsha Sinetar has said, “Life’s ups and downs provide windows of opportunities to determine your values and goals – Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.”

Why is dealing with roadblocks important when dealing with change? When in the midst of change or transitions, life is like a roller coaster ride; it is full of ups and downs, but as Sinetar says, these ups and downs offer us opportunities, chances to determine what is important and what direction we really want to take. That move out of our comfort zone forces us to re-evaluate ourselves, to search for pockets of strength we didn’t even know we had, and to move onward and upward to where we want to be. All roadblocks and obstacles present unique challenges to us, but within those challenges are wonderful opportunities to further develop our skills, experiences, knowledge, networks, relationships, and ourselves in general.

I would like to highlight this with another example from my personal life. When I was president-elect of the College Reading and Learning Association (CRLA), I had the privilege of planning the 1992 annual conference which happened to be the association’s 25^th annual conference. My conference theme was “Celebrating the Diversity in Teaching and Learning” and because it was a milestone anniversary conference, I wanted a memorable keynote speaker. I was most fortunate to get Alex Haley (probably most remembered as the author of Roots).

I was working in Salem, Oregon at the time I was planning the conference. One of the phone calls I received on February 10, 1992 was from a Seattle, Washington colleague asking how I was doing. I responded that I was busy, but fine. The person sounded incredulous and asked how I could be fine (and sound so calm) at a time like this. I had no clue about what my colleague was talking so asked what was going on. My colleague, another CRLA member, had called to talk to me about breaking news: it had just been announced that Alex Haley had died and what I was going to do about the conference.

My conference was scheduled to begin on April 9 and Haley passed away on February 10. Talk about change happening unexpectedly. Indeed it had. Talk about a roadblock being placed in one’s path. I had one BIG TIME! After hanging up the phone, I sat in stunned silence for a few moments. After my brief period of mourning both the loss of a great writer as well as the loss of my keynote speaker, I shifted my mindset to viewing this as an opportunity and went about retooling the conference and arranging for another keynote speaker. I must admit that I derived some inspiration for my retooling efforts from the book The Wizard of Oz.

The characters from the Wizard of Oz are my favorite example of those who refused to let roadblocks keep them from their goal. No matter what was put in their way of reaching Oz or their goal of returning home, they rose to the challenge (often using their creativity) and overcame the roadblock. They truly used all obstacles as stepping stones to get to what they wanted.

How does one develop the skill of negotiating roadblocks, of viewing obstacles as stepping stones and successfully using them to reach goals?

1.  Identify what is standing in the way of reaching the goal. Is it emotional based (fear, anger, doubt, worry, sadness)? Is it something physical (distance, lack of a resource)? Is it health related (physical ailment, weight issue, lack of exercise)? Is it our mindset (resistance to the change, negativity, my way is the only way)?

2.  Determine the best approach of overcoming the obstacle. Does the issue require just taking a step back, slowing down a bit, and cooling off? Feel hampered as if in a straitjacket where the connections must be determined before the bounds can be loosened or severed? Is the challenge more of a hurdle (something that is standing in the way) for which you need to gain momentum so the hurdle can be jumped?   Has something impassable, like a boulder, been dropped on the path where a whole new route must be found? Is it just the “yellow light” flashing indicating to us the need to slow down and use caution? Does it feel like the wall has been hit? As Michael Jordan says, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

3.  “Blast” the roadblock into manageable pieces. Break down into smaller, more manageable ways/steps the approach to overcoming the roadblock. Taking small, baby steps will help prevent one from becoming overwhelmed by the roadblock.

4.  Be persistent. Keep on going no matter what. (See the April 28, 2014 post ‘Persisting Through the Waves of Change for suggestions on how to become more persistent.)

5.  Take an emotional “time out.” When roadblocks are placed in our path, it is common to get flustered and react in an emotional way. This type of reaction isn’t usually productive. It may be cathartic, but it isn’t going to remove the roadblock. When facing the roadblock, we must begin to look at it with our logic and reason lenses. This will help identify the relevance of the roadblock and the means by which to overcome it.

6.  Take a view from a different perspective. View the roadblock from someone else’s perspective (spouse, child, co-worker, boss, friend, sibling, parent). Try to see it inside out and upside down: is it truly what we think or have we misunderstand the situation? Am I clearly seeing the picture or are there clouds or fog in the way? Have others dealt with the same obstacle? How did they overcome it? Have I made assumption about the issue? Do these assumptions help to remove the roadblock or do they make it worse?

                 

 

7.  Think irreverently, divergently, creatively. Go beyond conventional wisdom. (Refer to the past posts on thinking differently for ideas on how to develop that skill.)

8.  Talk through the situation. Talking to others will help put or keep things in perspective. Other people may have similar experiences and may be able to share how they dealt with the roadblock. Seek expert help when the obstacle seems insurmountable and the desire to give up is strong.

9.  Be action oriented. Change overwhelms us. The roadblocks within the change can stop us in our track; paralyze us. This is the time to take a deep breath and step into action. Focus on the following: Just what is the roadblock? The circumstance? Can I handle it; control it? What parts can’t I control? How do I gain the upper hand with this? How can I influence this circumstance? What resources do I need?

10. Think like a winner. Believing roadblocks can be overcome is half the battle. Have confidence. Steer clear from doubts because they will only immobilize any effort. Self-doubts also turn attention away from solutions and keep the attention on the problem. The calmer one can be, the clearer the mind and the better one is able to think divergently and creatively about the issue(s). Winners don’t quit; they rise above to meet the challenge head on.

Someone once said, “If the boulders are moved, even a river will change its course.” Change and transition often require us to change our course. Don’t fear doing so. Instead, look at the roadblock, the obstacle as a challenge, that with our can-do attitude, becomes an opportunity to develop our skills, experience, knowledge, networking, and/or relationships and in doing so, helps us move beyond the obstacle, the roadblock.