TRUSTING THE MAGIC OF NEW BEGINNINGS

 

March 31 brought the month of March to an end. April 1 brought the beginning to the month of April. March 31 also brought the professional career of my dear friend, Karen, to an end with her retirement. April 1 brought a new beginning to her. Her retirement createed a change for her and as is common with change, something ends but something new begins.

Major changes (such as retirements, graduations, the unexpected loss of a loved one, relocations…) do bring an end (the point at which something no longer continues to happen or exist) to something. But, close on the heels of that end is a new beginning (something that is not known at this point in time when something starts). And, as Paulo Coehlo reminds us, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”

No matter what circumstances (happy or sad; by choice or forced) bring about that new hello – that new beginning – we should approach it as a “magical” time. Probably the most “magical” time in our lives was when we were children. Remember when you were a free spirit? When your imagination ran wild? When you were creative beyond reason? When your days were filled with laugher, fun, and joy? When you were wildly happy about anything and everything? When you weren’t afraid to take a risk or make a mistake? When you bounced back from any type of disruption? When you lived in the moment? This is what new beginnings are all about.

New beginnings allow us to reconnect with our inner child. Our inner child allows us to approach and deal with situations as young children do – with resilience, joy, happiness, creativity, enthusiasm, and wide-eyed wonder.   What we don’t know or can’t see in our changed environment often throws us for a loop. The change that brings about the new beginning may have us questioning ourselves. Sometimes our confidence erodes. Our comfort zone shifts or disappears. Fear, anger, doubt, frustration – any number of emotions and feelings – may overcome us.  But, what if we allowed the part of our childlike wonder – the child’s ability to trust in what can’t be seen or what isn’t yet known – to take over and guide us in our approach to or in our decision making within our new beginning? The enthusiastic, happy, creative nature of our inner child can be a huge help in overcoming any paralyzing effects of change that may follow us into our new beginning.

So, this week, I have a five tips to help us all find the magic in our new beginnings:

M – make time

A – again/do overs

G – golden opportunities/possibilities

I – introspection

C – childlike wonder

MAKE TIME. It is important in our new beginning to make time for our dreams; our passions.   Take the time to try new things and do things we never took the time to do before. Take the time to “smell the roses.” As Dale Carnegie reminds us, “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”

AGAIN. New beginnings provide us the opportunity for do overs. Anything that we may have tried before and failed at or didn’t do quite to par, the new beginning gives us a fresh start to try again.  Young children don’t fear making a mistake. When they do, they learn from it. They figure out what they did wrong and work to right it.   We may be afraid to try a creative solution or try something new because we fear failure. Think how much easier it would be to deal with change and whatever it throws your way if you take a step back, take a deep breath, and look at what is facing you with “childlike wonder.” See something for the “first time.” Be fearless.   Think: so what if I make a mistake or fail. Think: what is the wildest thing I can think of to solve this issue or deal with this problem?

GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES. The new beginning opens us up to so many new possibilities. Ask what if, why, and why not questions. Seek to learn want to know more about things. Look at things as a child would; explore things with a “beginner’s” mind. Don’t let expectations constrain you. Dare to be like a child and go outside the lines. Walk on the wild side. (Create your own reality like Harold did in the children’s book Harold and the Purple Crayon.) Let your imagination run wild and free. Be more creative, imaginative, innovative, divergent, or just plain different in how we deal with or solve whatever we’re facing in the new beginning. Remain open at all times to receive the unexpected as well as what we think is coming. Start each day with an open mind about opportunities that may come your way. Be ready for the who, what, where, when, and why of each day. “Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday again and you are turning six again.” (Mike Dolan)

INTROSPECTION. Life is a journey. The process of introspection (or self-reflection) is the GPS on that journey. The process can reaffirm that we are on the right road or it can alert us that we need to “recalculate” where we are headed. Our new beginning is a great time to take stock of ourselves, reflecting on where we’ve been and where we want to head. This should be a time of honest and constructive self-assessment. As Carl Sandberg said, “It is necessary…for a man to go away by himself…to sit on a rock…and ask, who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” The new beginning is a perfect time to do as Sandberg advises.

CHILDLIKE WONDER. Childlike wonder is an attitude; it is a way of seeing the magic in simple things and finding the fun and joy in simple things. Childlike wonder allows us to:  have little or no fear of the unknown, venture out of our comfort zone, be imaginative and creative, have little or no fear of failure, be a visionary, take on challenges, believe we can achieve whatever we conceive, and try new things. This is the attitude we need in our new beginning.

Dodinsky says, “Here is to NEW BEGINNINGS…yes you can reset your life at anytime! Another wonderful opportunity to better our lives, work on our dreams, appreciate life’s little gifts (that we sometimes ignore) and brave the challenges ahead.”   If we trust the magic of new beginnings and approach them with the heart of our inner child, our days in the new beginning will be exciting beyond belief.

Let your inner child guide you in your new beginning. Exude unbridled joy, boundless energy, a free-spirited nature, a wild imagination, creativity, happiness, enthusiasm, resilience, stamina, laughter, fun, curiosity, and a sense of wonder. Leo F. Buscaglia wrote, “I am often accused of being childish.  I prefer to interpret that as child-like.  I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things.  I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish.  I still listen to instinctual urges.  I play with leaves.  I skip down the street and run against the wind.  I never water my garden without soaking myself.  It has been after such times of joy that I have achieved my greatest creativity and produced my best work.” Buscaglia’s advice is perfect to help us deal with the changes, with the new beginnings in our life. Perhaps we can achieve our greatest creativity and produce our finest work (as we step into our new beginning) after releasing our inner child. To all my friends, faithful readers, and especially Karen, “Tag, you’re it!”

LOOKING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD

Happy 2015! Welcome to the New Year! Raise your hand if part of your transition to the change of the New Year was to reflect on 2014. My hand is up. I did spend time reviewing the highlights of the year as well as the challenges. One of the items in my reflection that was both a highlight and a challenge, and on which I am still reflecting, is my book Facing the Sunshine and Avoiding the Shadows: Strategies to Stay Sane and Positive amid Change, and the blog (which came about as a result of the book).

In my blog reflection, I took a look at what was covered (primarily so I could get a handle on where I wanted to go with it in this New Year). Wow! We covered a lot in 40 posts:  information on 35 strategies for dealing with change was shared.

I am big on the use of acronyms to help others remember ‘stuff.’ Sixteen of the strategies came from my book, Facing the Sunshine and Avoiding the Shadows: Strategies to Stay Sane and Positive amid Change, with PRESERVING SANITY as the acronym. Those strategies are: persistence, relationships, enthusiasm, sense of humor, ending something, roaming the wilderness, vision, irreverent thinking, negotiating roadblocks, giggling; savoring mistakes, “atta” persons, new style of thinking, innovativeness, taking risks, and you have to dream big.

Another 10 strategies can be found in the acronym BE POSITIVE: balance, eager beaver, passion, outlet, saluting others, inner child, transformation, ingenuity, vitality, and easy going.

SMILE contains five more strategies (self-esteem, modification, introspection, laughter, and exuberance) while CALM represented another four (can-do attitude, adapt, learn to let go, and moving forward).

                                                           

Did you happen to notice that the acronyms also provided a hint as to things we need to do when dealing with change?

We need to preserve our sanity and not let change get the best of us;

We need to be positive as an optimistic outlook will certainly help us navigate the change more successfully;

We need to smile since doing so helps us project a more positive image, calms us and reduces stress, and makes up feel happier; and,

We need to remain calm so we can maintain our perspective and not over-react.

In addition to strategies for dealing with change, we also explored what change is and why it is so difficult, the emotion of disappointment, the importance of concentrating on the positive, and the mindset of looking at change as an opportunity. And, four of the very early posts were “housekeeping” ones – who I am, why I wrote the book, how the book can be of help, and an overview of the book’s strategies.

Certainly this blog went well beyond the 16 strategies in the book. As I look to the blog and 2015, I will continue to focus on strategies that will help you deal with change. In addition, I want to look at how change makes us feel and how to deal with those feelings or reactions. And, I will be addressing topics that are coming from you, my faithful followers.  So, perhaps we all will be well served by ‘looking back to move forward.’  Continue  your reflection/introspection to help  you on your journey in this new year.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL…

2014 will soon be a memory. Reflecting on the year that is about to end is not an uncommon activity. What were the good, the positive moments? What challenges did I face? Anything I need to do or should do differently in the New Year?

Reflection is a form of introspection which is the ability to examine one’s own thoughts and feelings; a time of contemplation. Introspection/reflection is also a strategy for dealing with change. Think about it. We are soon changing to a new year. And, every year at this time of year, most people do some soul searching, some reflection, some introspection. You’ve been using a change strategy without even realizing it!

For most, the New Year is nothing big. It is something that just happens. For some, it can represent a major or seismic change. If the change to the New Year is unsettling for you, the strategy of introspection is a good one to consider. Let’s explore how introspection or reflection can help us, whether at this time of year or when dealing with any change that brings some type of disruption to your life or comfort zone.

If change has entered your life and you are struggling, redefining, or exploring your role and purpose in the new situation, you may be able to add context or perspective to what is going on. The change can serve as an opportunity to redirect or renew who you are and what you will be in the changed situation. Ask yourself these questions:

AM I REACTING TO THE CHANGE OR AM I DIRECTING THE CHANGE?  Change won’t go away, but your attitude and reaction toward it will make all the difference in the world.

WAS I ON THE RIGHT ROAD? We have a way of “walking through life” only to find we’ve taken a “wrong turn” and are on the wrong road. We may have lost what matters to us and are following someone else’s goals. You many need to re-examine your values and priorities and realign them.

Introspection or that serious look at ourselves is not always an easy task. The following techniques may be of help on your journey of self-reflection:

Make self-reflection part of your daily routine. Reviewing and reflecting on what has happened, how whatever happened made you feel, and assessing your response to how you reacted will help you keep things in perspective. And, if self-reflection is part of your routine, when change does happen, reflecting on it will feel more natural.

Remain objective. Objectivity is vital if reflection is going to be useful to you. Truly look at yourself. Ask what happened? How did I react? What could I have done differently or better? What do I still need to do? In our reflection, we may catalog our mistakes and weaknesses along with our successes and strengths. Be careful not to dwell on the mistakes and weaknesses. In reflecting, there is no room for placing blame on self or others. It doesn’t matter what brought about the change. What matters is what you need to do differently to get through and manage what has changed.

Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Look at situations and issues from the perspective of others involved. This will help you uncover useful insights that take you beyond the walls of your own experience and may help you come up with ways to better deal with what is going on.

Be open to a variety of thoughts. Remember the wicked queen in Snow White who expected the response, “You are” when she asked, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all?” Self-reflection isn’t about knowing the answers before the question is asked or getting the answer we always want. It is about honestly and constructively assessing ourselves and the situation.

Make a commitment to take action. In your reflection, you will probably come up with ideas on what will work in the changed environment. The next step is to act on those ideas. Develop a plan of action and follow through on it.

Life is a journey. The process of self-reflection or introspection is the GPS on that journey. The process can reaffirm that we are on the right road or it can alert us that we need to “recalculate” where we are headed. You need to pay attention when your introspective GPS tells you to recalculate and do something differently. As you get ready for 2015, do take some time to ask yourself the questions in this post and prepare yourself for the change to the New Year. And, remember, should a life change come your way in the New Year, use reflection and introspection as one of your strategies to help you manage that change. As Carl Sandburg said, “It is necessary…for a man to go away by himself…to sit on a rock…and ask, who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?”